It’s been 8 years since I got into student ministry. I remember that summer at Winshape Camps in Rome, Georgia as a Choctaw counselor. To say that it was a flawless summer would be to lie greatly, but most importantly, I learned that my heart yearned to help students walk through life pursuing Christ. As I write this blog post, I’ve thought about what my goal is; what do I want to accomplish? (If you know Jock Murray, thank him because this blog would have gone a million places within just 15 lines without him.) Student leadership and development has taken up a significant portion of my life. Of my 27 years, eight of them have been involved in youth ministry–almost a third of my lifetime dedicated to students! I want to reach out to you readers, humbly, to share some of the things I have learned working in youth ministry. So, here we go:
Number 1: God is Sovereign and His will will be accomplished.
This lesson took me a long time to learn. During youth ministry, I struggled with a few different thoughts on this matter, but one in particular: “Are my students really understanding what God is teaching them?” I would spend hours a week trying to design Bible studies that they would understand, something they could apply in their life. I longed to teach them about the power of the gospel, and how, once it takes root, it can change your life forever. Yet, I walked away after Bible studies with my boys earnestly praying and worrying over whether or not they truly got it. At that time, one verse that reminded me of God’s sovereignty is Isaiah 55:10-11: “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Through this verse, I learned that our work that we invest in students for the sake of the Gospel is not dependent on (1) us to say the right thing and (2) whether we see fruit or not. God has purposed what we said to work somehow in someone’s life. For me, this removed the pressure of the importance of what I said but still kept the urgency for which I helped spread the Gospel.
Number 2: Students will be students but that doesn’t mean you expect less of them.
This is a rather vague statement but, during my time of leading students, I have found that, while they will do dumb things, they can do immensely great things! I think I entered youth ministry with the mindset that I am going to teach students about God, do stupid things with them, and that was it. The only thing I really asked or expected of my students was for them to halfway pay attention during Bible study and spend time in the word outside of that. If I could go back in time, I wish I could find my younger self and slap him in the face and emphatically tell him of all the things that he has seen God work through students.
I remember when I experienced this paradigm shift. I was a chaperone for the church I worked with on a mission trip through a company called LeaderTreks in Pawleys Island, SC. On this trip, students were given the opportunity to lead their fellow students, and adults were instructed not to lead. In a sense, a vacuum of leadership was created in which the students had to step-up and fill. One of those students, if I am being truly honest, I never saw becoming a leader, ever. Through this program he was forced to rise up and lead his team. While the memory is fuzzy about the work we did that day, I can say my student led others well, cared for his team, completed his project, and learned how to do this in about 6 hours. God really knows how to humble cocky youth workers named Kyle. From that point on, I recognized that students could do amazing things and I learned I could ask more from them.
Number 3: It will change your life forever.
You can go through life being comfortable, living in your shell, wondering if you made a difference. Or you can go through life, work with students, be dog tired, come away heartbroken sometimes, experience momentary joy, and have an assurance that you made a difference and that you’re different because of that choice. Throughout working with students, I have experience emotions that shook me to my core, and caused me at night to cry out to God and ask “Why, God? Why?” Those passing moments is how God worked through me, reassured me of His sovereignty and brought me closer to Himself. For that, I am forever thankful.
This section was written on September 11, 2016
I started writing this blogpost in July after completing a trip with LeaderTreks. It’s now September. I have added things, removed things, reworded things. This is my final addition. On my birthday, I found out one of my former students had committed suicide. He was 16. This is the side of youth ministry that no one ever tells you about. As I write this post, I am still left without words. I know even now that I am not properly grieving. It’s as if the full reality of Daniel’s death hasn’t affected me, but that’s not the truth. It has. I know I am questioning God about His plan, His love, why this even happened and, truthfully, I am heartbroken. I remember finding out this information and, I know this is cliche but, I felt my heart standstill, I collapsed, a ton of bricks hit me, or whatever phrase you use. While that feeling has passed, I still wonder about God and His plan. Below you will find what I wrote a month before Daniel’s passing and I think it provides truth and a firm closure to this post. If you read this, know that I love you and I care for you deeply.
This section was written in August of 2016
From working with students, I can say confidently that Christ is faithful, sovereign, and He believes in students. I know my life has been forever impacted and I cannot wait to rejoin student ministries and continue Christ’s work, if He allows.
Kyle+Mads 