It always seems appropriate to reflect on the year, to try to give meaning to your experiences. It can be a daunting, overwhelming, and emotional activity to examine your personal life. The end of the year might have you unboxing memories you stuffed away–good or bad. It might have you longing for someone or holding someone close. The holidays are either filled with joy or tainted by the year’s heartaches. That being said, I wanted to keep it light, to avoid spilling my life all over the Internet and to help others take a breather from reflection to remember that there are a lot of wonderful things in life: music, books, movies! I have chosen to spend blog space writing about the media I consumed this year rather than remind my readers of the challenges or inadequacies of life.

If you hadn’t noticed, this blog is titled “The Best & Most Disappointing of 2019.” This was intentional. If I had to pick the worst, that would be relatively easy: just find some poorly derived garbage, slap it into my list, and be done with it. Instead, I want to address media that I had higher expectations for than what they delivered. I picked one disappointing movie, book, and album, and three best movies, books, and albums. A couple caveats: (1) This is really more of my personal opinion than it is a definitive list other people should agree with. I based it solely on what I enjoyed rather than considering what was objectively “good”. (2) The books I picked were not books published in 2019; they’re books I read in 2019. I only read two books published this year, and I didn’t think it was fair to have to say one was “most disappointing” just because it was only one of two I read. (3) If I left off something you loved, tell me! There are plenty of films I haven’t seen yet (like The Irishman) or albums I haven’t gotten around to listening to (like Norman Fucking Rockwell), and I want to know what you think I should see, read, or listen to!

Movie: Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

Why? The short answer: I am a naive optimist and still held out hope that Star Wars could be something amazing. The long answer: see this post.

Book: A Prayer for Owen Meanie by John Irving

Why? It’s my mom’s favorite book, and my dad read it at the same time as me and raved about it. I just could not get into it. My expectations were extremely high after all I’d heard about it for years, and it just didn’t live up to the hype. In fact–and I am embarrassed to say–I never even finished.

Album: The Big Day by Chance the Rapper

Why? Coloring Book (2016) is hands-down one of my favorite albums of all time. I expected Chance to come back with something equally or more impressive, and then he released this pile of garbage. I literally did not even make it through listening to the whole album: it was that bad. The lyrics are nonsensical, and the music just grates on your ears.

Why? Mainly, I can’t stop thinking about it. I literally have thought about this movie at least once a day since I saw it. I think it has a lot of really important things to say about marriage, and the acting is fantastic. As someone who typically does not like Scarlett Johansson, this movie completely changed my mind about her. I hope she and Adam Driver get Oscars for their brilliant acting.

Why? Guys, it’s John Wick. I mean, who doesn’t like this stuff? It’s just some solidly filmed fight scenes and Keanu Reeves kicking ass. I am really looking forward to May 2021.

Why? The script is absolutely brilliant, and I had no idea Awkwafina was such an incredible actress. Do yourself a favor: just go watch it (but take the tissues with you).

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

Why? The writing was so incredibly beautiful. I kept stopping to read long passages over and over. In particular, it’s the first time I’ve read a novel in which I felt like the author understood the power of sex with someone you love. It’s achingly heartfelt story is real and layered with meaning.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

Why? Similar to the film Marriage Story, this book made me reflective on marriage; and similar to If Beale Street Could Talk, it made me reflective on the criminal justice system. I didn’t like everything this book had to say, but I liked that it challenged my thinking and left my soul raw. It’s extremely rare that an author can make you understand what every character in a novel is feeling, but Jones did just that. It took me a long time to get through this book because I would find myself in tears, mourning with the characters.

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead

Why? Honestly, it’s really all about the writing here. This is probably one of the most well-written books I’ve ever had the pleasure to read. Sure, the story is intriguing, but the characterization is severely lacking. Regardless, it was like taking a warm bath in a sea of prose from someone who really knows what he’s doing with language. Additionally, there’s a great twist at the end you won’t see coming!

When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? by Billie Eilish

Why? Billie Eilish is unique, and she’s doing things with music no one else is. Her songs are dark and eerily both emotional and emotionless. Her voice is fantastic and capable of being manipulated into different styles. I love that she’s so young because I believe (or hope) that she has a great career in front of her.

Lover by Taylor Swift

Why? This is the best damn think Taylor Swift ever did, and you can fight me if you disagree. I feel like this is the first thing she’s done that genuinely her: she’s not trying to be someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I think she did some great work before this, but none of it was even close to this good. This is really my favorite album of the year. Her songs are emotionally vulnerable, and the music is clearly the work of a seasoned musician: layered, interesting, and ever-changing.

Whiskey Myers by Whiskey Myers

Why? The bottom line: I just really love Whiskey Myers. They’re country rock and definitely deserve way more recognition than they get. You want to rock out? Go see them in concert. They put on a great live show! For a taste, check out their latest single.

Bonus: TV I loved in 2019!